Episode 23 | The Baby Faced Sofa Session and Quizzing on my Face | Ironing Out The Kinks Podcast

🔥 We’re BACK, baby! 🔥 After a little hiatus (hey, even kinky podcasters need a break), we’re back in your ears, your hearts, and possibly your deepest, darkest fantasies. Episode 23 of Ironing Out the Kinks is live, and trust us—it’s a WILD ride. No foreplay, just straight in! 🍆💦

Naughty Corner: Escorting, Apps, & Finding a Fling 💃🏽👠

First up, a listener dilemma:

“I’m in a relationship but really want a no-strings-attached experience with a woman. Would using an escort be bad? Would I feel like they don’t actually want to sleep with me? Also, what do I wear? HELP.”

Listen, babe. If there’s one thing we love, it’s helping people get the best bang for their buck (literally). Escorting? Totally a valid option, but if you’re worried about the transactional vibe, apps might be your best bet. There are plenty of fellow experimental explorers looking for the same thing—you just gotta be upfront! Bonus tip: wear whatever makes you feel sexy AF. Suspenders? Latex? A Pikachu onesie? Own it. ⚡

Bedroom Blues: When the Big O is a No-Go 🛑

Another listener wrote in about their partner struggling to enjoy sex due to pain, nausea, and a serious lack of orgasms. OOF.

First things first—communication is king (or queen, or consenting non-binary royalty). Ask what they do like, what feels good, and if there’s any medical or emotional roadblock to address. Also, antidepressants and birth control? MASSIVE sex drive killers. Like, RIP libido. 🪦😵‍💫 If all else fails, maybe reintroduce some spontaneity (and lube, always lube).

QUIZ ON MY FACE: The Ultimate Penis Edition 🍆📏

Chelsea dropped some big (or small) knowledge this week with our new quiz segment. Here’s what we learned:

🇨🇩 Largest average penis size? Congo at 7.1 inches. 🇮🇪 Smallest? Ireland (sorry, lads) at 5 inches. 🇬🇧 UK Average? 5.2 inches—so you’re all doing just fine. 🏆 Biggest on record? 18.9 inches. That’s not a penis, that’s a weapon.

And yes, Luke took a brutal loss in the trivia battle. Better luck next time, mate. 🎤

Oops, Wrong Hole: The Sweatiest, Most Chaotic First Time Ever 🫠💦

One listener shared the absolute worst first-time sex story imaginable—two hours of slip-and-slide failure, bruised asses, and bent dicks. Oh, and it all happened on a sofa at their partner’s mum’s house. 🤦🏽‍♀️

But guess what? They’re now engaged. Romance isn’t dead—it’s just VERY sweaty. 🥵

Would You Rather: JLS or Susan Boyle? 🎤🎶

Luke had a tough choice: 1️⃣ Go down on and have passionate sex with Susan Boyle. 🫠 2️⃣ Suck off all four members of JLS to completion. 🥴

Spoiler alert: he’s taking one (or four) for the team. 💰

That’s it for this week’s episode recap! Got a kinky question, a ridiculous sex story, or just want to make Luke question his life choices even more? Send us your submissions at iotk.fun! 💌

Make sure you’re following us on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube (@IroningOutTheKinks) for more chaos. And if you haven’t already—subscribe, leave us a review, and stay horny, baby! 😈🔥