The Unflappable Kinksters and The Bush Massacre
😳 First-Time Sex – Absolute Carnage
From awkward fumbling in parents’ bedrooms to guys who couldn’t find the hole, this episode is a wild ride through the reality of losing your virginity. Spoiler: it’s rarely romantic and often involves someone apologising mid-thrust.
One listener's first time was so bad she had to fake it and then leg it home. Iconic.
🧠 Wank Bank Memories – Who’s Still in There?
We asked you lot who lives rent-free in your “mental porn folder” — and the answers didn’t disappoint. Fit teachers, exes you still lowkey miss, that one lad from year 10 PE...
It’s the unspoken truth: your brain is filthier than your camera roll.
😏 Hilarious Listener Confessions
You’ve been busy little deviants. This week’s confessions include:
The girl who climaxed to the Sims 4 loading music
A first-time shag so bad the guy ghosted during
The one who thought it was romantic to shag in the bath (until they both got stuck)
We read them all. We judged none. We howled with laughter.
🫣 The Things That Stick With You
There’s always that one moment. The first grope in the dark. The crush who gave you butterflies and boners. The surprise encounter that changed the way you looked at cucumbers forever.
Sexual awakenings are personal, powerful — and often completely hilarious in hindsight.
🫦 Chelsea's Confession of the Week
Our girl admits she once imagined herself as the star of a porno just to get through a terrible shag. Headboard banging? Check. Hair flick? Of course. Eye contact with the imaginary camera? Always.
Sometimes you’ve got to fake the fantasy to survive the session.
🧼 Sponsor Shoutout
Dirty Soap – Smell like sin, not sadness.
Pulse & Cocktails – Home of the actual wank bank.
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🎧 Listen Now
Catch Episode 36 on your favourite filthy platform:
Or wherever you get your audio filth